So You Want To Set Some Boundaries This Holiday Season
Setting boundaries during the holidays can feel uncomfortable—but it’s also one of the most powerful things you can do for your physical and mental well-being. In this episode, Manders, Kelly, and Kelsey unpack how to navigate food, family, and social pressure while staying true to your goals. They share real-life examples, practical boundary-setting strategies, and mindset shifts to help you enjoy the season without guilt or burnout.
BLACK IRON RADIO EP. 294: So You Want To Set Some Boundaries This Holiday Season
Manders, Kelly, and Kelsey talk about how to navigate holiday food, family pressure, and social situations without losing your sanity or your progress. They dig into people-pleasing, guilt, alcohol, and what it means to protect your peace during the season of excess.
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The holidays are coming — cue the food, family, festivities, and a side of “just have one more.” Whether you’re working toward a goal or just trying to get through the season feeling good in your body and your brain, boundaries are your secret weapon.
Boundaries aren’t punishment. They’re protection. They help you enjoy the holidays without waking up the next morning wondering why you said yes to everything (and everyone).
Why Boundaries Feel So Hard
For most of us, saying no triggers guilt, fear of judgment, or a deep-rooted desire to keep the peace. Kelly talked about how she spent years equating holidays and birthdays with doing everything in excess because that’s what she saw modeled — eat until you feel sick, drink until it’s “fun.”
Kelsey added that so many of her clients struggle with family pressure. If you’ve always done holidays a certain way, it feels weird to do them differently. Add in the people-pleasing urge — the one that says “they’ll think I’m boring if I skip the wine” — and suddenly boundaries feel impossible.
But “no” really is a full sentence.
Remember: It’s Not About You
When someone insists you “just have one” drink or pushes dessert into your hands, it’s rarely about you. As Manders said, “You’d never try to force someone to do something they didn’t want to do.” Their reaction says more about their comfort level than your choices.
Kelly put it perfectly: “It’s like holding up a mirror. When you make a choice that’s good for you, other people sometimes see their own habits reflected back — and that’s uncomfortable.”
So let them sit in their discomfort. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for what’s on your plate (or not).
Boundaries With Yourself Count, Too
Boundaries aren’t just about other people. They’re also about reining in your own all-or-nothing tendencies.
Manders pointed out how easy it is to let one untracked meal spiral into a week of “screw it.” Instead, decide ahead of time: I’m going to enjoy this meal without guilt, and tomorrow I’m right back to normal.
Kelly added that boundaries can look like prioritizing what’s actually special to you — eat the pie you love, skip the Reese’s you can have anytime. The point isn’t restriction; it’s intention.
Protect Your Energy, Too
The holiday season comes with more than food — there are endless events, obligations, and expectations. Kelsey reminded us that saying “no” to plans can be just as powerful as saying “no” to dessert.
If your schedule’s already packed, it’s okay to protect your downtime. You don’t need to attend every ugly-sweater party or cookie exchange to prove you care.
Make a Game Plan
Vague goals like “I’ll drink less” or “I’ll be gentle with myself” sound great — until the wine starts flowing or someone hands you a plate. Kelly’s advice? Go in with a real plan.
Start your night with a mocktail or sparkling water.
Alternate every alcoholic drink with a non-alcoholic one.
Pack or bring what you need (yes, even your sparkling water).
Small, intentional actions beat vague intentions every time.
Practice Makes Boundaries Easier
Kelly shared how the more she practiced saying no, the less pushback she got — even her family started stocking up on egg whites and oats for her visits. It might feel awkward at first, but consistency teaches people what to expect from you.
Kelsey added a great strategy: pick non-negotiables each week. If life’s chaotic, decide what will happen no matter what — maybe it’s three 20-minute walks or daily hydration. These little self-promises are boundary-building reps.
The Takeaway
Boundaries don’t make you rigid — they make you resilient. They help you stay aligned with what actually matters to you, whether that’s feeling strong, sleeping well, or simply not regretting your choices come January.
So this holiday season, remember:
“No” is a full sentence.
You don’t owe anyone an explanation.
Boundaries protect you; they don’t punish you.
Practice them early and often — they’ll get easier.
And if someone still gives you grief? Smile, sip your sparkling water, and remember: weird behavior says more about them than it ever will about you.
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If you enjoyed this conversation, check out more episodes of Black Iron Radio, where we cut through the noise and give you real, no-BS advice on feeling, performing, and looking your best. Each week we share practical nutrition, training, and wellness strategies and tips to help you succeed.
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