So You Want To Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
BLACK IRON RADIO EP. 320: So You Want To Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
Comparison is everywhere, and it's one of the fastest ways to lose trust in yourself.
Brooke, Chloe, and Manders break down why comparison shows up so easily, how social media distorts expectations around training, nutrition, bodies, and progress, and why copying someone else's plan almost always backfires. They dig into how comparison leads to program hopping, inconsistency, burnout, and feeling like nothing you're doing is ever good enough. The focus shifts to what actually works: defining success on your own terms, choosing habits that fit your real life, and sticking with them long enough to build confidence, momentum, and results.
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We're officially in that New Year hustle season where motivation is high, expectations are sky-high, and comparison is absolutely everywhere. If you're not careful, it can mess with your head fast.
The truth? Comparison is one of the quickest ways to lose trust in yourself and derail your progress. Social media makes it worse with the constant highlight reels, "new year, new me" posts, and people posting about how well they’re doing after just a few days.
This isn't just about feeling bad. It's about how comparison actually damages your ability to make progress and stick with what works for you.
Why Comparison Hits So Hard
Comparison isn't new. We've been doing it our whole lives - comparing grades, athletic ability, appearance. But social media amplifies it in ways we've never dealt with before.
The problem is you're seeing a tiny glimpse of reality. You don't know what's really going on behind the scenes. Someone posting their "perfect" postpartum body at 5 months? You have no idea what their support system looks like, whether they have a nanny, if they can hit Pilates twice a day, or what else is happening in their life.
Elite athletes crushing PRs left and right? There's a good chance they're on performance-enhancing drugs or peptides, but they're not exactly posting about that. Influencers with perfect physiques? Many have had BBLs or other procedures they don't disclose.
When you compare yourself to these highlight reels, you're comparing your full reality to someone else's carefully curated 10 seconds. It's not a fair fight.
How Comparison Shows Up
Comparison sneaks into your life in ways that might not be obvious at first. It affects your nutrition, your training, and ultimately your results.
On the nutrition side: You see someone share their macros or a full day of eating, and you think if you just eat exactly what they eat, you'll look like them. But you're missing their genetics, their lifestyle, their activity level, and their actual history with food. Copy-pasting someone else's plan doesn't educate you about what works for your body or why. You end up lost without a roadmap, never understanding the principles behind what you're doing.
On the training side: Same deal. You see "the best workout for glutes" or some program that promises specific results, so you follow it. But bodies respond differently to training. What works for someone else might not work for you. Plus, you don't know if they actually do those workouts or if they're being honest about what's really building their physique.
The real damage happens when you start program hopping or constantly changing your nutrition approach. You follow one plan for two weeks, don't see immediate results, then jump to another one. You never give anything enough time to actually work.
What Happens When Comparison Drives Your Decisions
Inconsistency is the biggest consequence. No matter what you do with nutrition or training, consistency is what gets results. When you're constantly changing things, you're working against yourself.
You also burn out fast. You never get to a point where you see real progress because you're jumping around too much. You start feeling like nothing you do is good enough. You lose confidence in your own ability to make decisions about what's right for your body and your life.
Some people accidentally end up undereating because they're following what an influencer claims to eat (but doesn't actually eat). Others push too hard in training, trying to keep up with athletes who have been in their sport for 15 years when they've been training for 6 months.
You lose sight of your own road. You're on a path going somewhere, but you don't know where it leads because you're following someone else's map.
How to Actually Stop Comparing Yourself
Define what success looks like for you. Not what it looks like for someone else. What do you want to feel like? What's most important to you? Is it performance, energy, confidence? Confidence looks different for everyone. If you're constantly comparing aesthetics, try shifting to performance-based goals instead. Focus on what your body can do rather than what it looks like.
Look at your lifestyle realistically. If you're following a content creator whose job is content creation and they train 2 hours a day, 5 days a week, and you're a working parent with two kids, that's not going to fit your life. Maybe your version is 4 days a week for an hour, and you make that hour really count. That's not settling. That's being smart about what's sustainable for you.
Pull back the curtain on who you're comparing yourself to. Look at their training age. Have they been doing this for 15 years? Did they come from a different athletic background? Do they eat, sleep, and breathe their sport as a full-time job? Look at their whole lifestyle if you can see it - the recovery work, the mobility, the walks, the balance. Don't just see the highlight reel of intense workouts.
Curate your social media carefully. If someone's content makes you feel bad about yourself, unfollow them. Especially if they're pushing that "we all have the same 24 hours" nonsense while conveniently leaving out all their advantages and support systems. Your mental health matters more than following every fitness influencer.
Focus on one goal for the next 8-12 weeks. Don't change it. Don't hop to something new. Pick one thing and stick with it long enough to actually see if it works. This builds self-trust. When you follow through on something and see results, you learn to trust your own process.
Focus on Habits, Not Outcomes
Instead of setting resolutions (outcome-based), set intentions (value-based). What habits can you focus on based on where you're at in your life right now?
Pick one habit that's low-hanging fruit. Something manageable. Then stick with it for 8-12 weeks. You'll start to notice benefits beyond just physical changes - better mental health, more energy, improved sleep.
This is about building self-trust through repetition. When you follow your own plan consistently, all that social media noise starts to quiet down. You stop second-guessing yourself because you have evidence that what you're doing works for you.
The Bottom Line
Feeling confident isn't about being the best. It's about being consistent with your specific process.
Results take time. You might feel stagnant week to week. That's normal. You're not going to PR every single workout or see dramatic changes every month. But if you're following a sustainable plan that fits your lifestyle, you're making progress even when it doesn't feel like it.
Comparison steals joy and progress. Building self-trust gives you both back.
Where you are right now is greater than where you think you should be. That's not settling. That's recognizing that your journey is your own, and the only person you need to keep up with is yourself.
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If you enjoyed this conversation, check out more episodes of Black Iron Radio, where we cut through the noise and give you real, no-BS advice on feeling, performing, and looking your best. Each week we share practical nutrition, training, and wellness strategies and tips to help you succeed.
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