Understanding Your Ambivalence Towards Change

Even if we want to change, we may feel stuck, or we’re attached to something that keeps us from changing. We may get pulled between different things, like taking care of others versus taking care of ourselves; or, wanting to lose weight, but not wanting to give up comfort eating and drinking.

First, understand that your feelings are normal, and just because you’re feeling ambivalent towards change, doesn’t mean you DON’T want to change.

Next, you need to figure out how you can address and sort through your feelings.

  1. Try and talk with someone, whether it’s your coach, a friend, or a family member. This will help you find deeper insight as to what’s going on with you.

  2. Write out a pro and con list that dives into why changing might be good AND bad.

    • Ask yourself: What’s GOOD about changing? What’s pushing you TOWARDS change, and what’s pushing you AWAY from your old ways? What’s BAD about NOT changing?

    • Then, approach it from another angle: What’s BAD about changing? What’s GOOD about NOT changing? What ANXIETY does change create? What HABITS might you have to change on this journey?

  3. Now, you should see what factors in your life are blocking you from changing. Most of the time, there’s discrepancy between your goals and your behaviors or habits. For example, a lot of people say they want to eat better, but they decide to get takeout food because they feel stressed and busy. If you’re ready, willing, and able to change, reach out to your coach so you can figure out strategies together that help you overcome these limiting factors.

  4. Lastly, understand that now may NOT be the right time to change. If you aren’t invested in changing your habits and behaviors, there’s no point in spending the time, effort, and money on nutrition or training only to set yourself up for failure over and over again. Come back when you’re sure you’re ready.

Our roles as coaches are to guide and facilitate you on your journey with nutrition and fitness. We have a lot of knowledge to share with you. We are here to teach and help you learn. We will work with you to solve problems and find solutions. We help you reframe your thinking. We show you that you are in control of your lives, even if it doesn’t feel like it. We are compassionate. We understand that screw-ups, setbacks, roadblocks, and challenges happen. But, it’s not our job to force you to change. That decision is entirely up to you.

Author: Megan Markoff, Black Iron Nutrition Coach, @megmarkoffcoaching